Welcome to Bounce Back - exeter-p.schools.nsw.gov.au
Welcome to Bounce Back! A Parent workshop presentation Bounce Back! A Positive Education approach to wellbeing, resilience, and social-emotional learning https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvbGMsS8GYg Bounce Back is a social & emotional learning program published by PEARSON Professional Learning.
It is written by Dr Toni Noble and Helen McGrath. Parenting Parenting is both immensely rewarding and satisfying but also very challenging. There is no manual. The Perfect Parent does not exist. The historical time & the prevailing culture influence how we parent Major wars, economic downturns & natural disasters tend to contribute to an increase in parenting for resilience
Easier times tend to contribute to a decrease in parenting for resilience. 3 Research studies have suggested that many children and young people are more anxious & less resilient in response to setbacks than previous generations. 4 POSSIBLE REASONS for this are:
1. Parents falling into the Happiness trap Its natural to want our children to be happy but its unrealistic to expect them to be happy all the time This can lead to: Trying to protect them from any uncomfortable emotions Trying to solve their problems for them Offering quick fixes or distractions when they are not happy to try to keep them happy Giving them everything they ask for.
2. Parents wrapping children up in cotton wool Over-protecting their child by: Allowing them to avoid challenges Giving them only positive feedback for everything they do Ensuring they have everything they want. 3. Parents over-focusing on feel good self-esteem instead of encouraging self-respect'
Feel Good Self-esteem Focus is more on successes, what you have and what you can do It often fluctuates because it is very dependent on praise from others It is often based more on self-beliefs than on evidence and facts Research supports the conclusion that inflated self-esteem can be linked to bullying and other types of aggressive behaviour
Self-respect Focus is more on putting moral values into practice & treating others well Prefers praise but not dependent on it Less focus on comparing self with others Self-protects (including their reputation) Displays self-kindness i.e accepts own mistakes & imperfections Shows self-trust (e.g. can resist peer pressure) 7
4.Potential impact of social media Media & social networking can encourage young people to: Compare themselves to idealised views of others. Believe they need to be perfect. Perfectionism encourages feelings of inadequacy and exaggerates their problems and difficulties
All these factors can undermine children and young peoples ability to BOUNCE BACK! Just like a ball or spring, young people can learn how to bounce back psychologically after
being knocked out of shape. The 10 Units in Bounce Back! Core Values Social Values People Bouncing Back Courage Looking on the Bright Side
Emotions Relationships Humour Being Safe Success Strategies for parents to help their children to learn how to bounce back
15 HELPFUL STRATEGIES to help your child become more resilient Identify your childs strengths Ability Strengths Character Strengths Encourage a focus on others, as well as self
https://www.facebook.com/kn.naresh Encourage your child to have high (but realistic) expectations for what they can achieve Encourage them to take on challenges and to set goals. Stress the importance of hard work and persistence (not giving up too easily). Gently challenge unhelpful thinking Unhelpful thinking involves
viewing failures, mistakes & difficulties as unchangeable and includes: - Assuming the worst possible outcome i.e. catastrophising - Over-generalising from one situation to all situations. Adam doesnt like me. That means no one will like me.
This work is so hard. I must not be as smart as everyone else. I made a mistake. Im dumb and hopeless. Look for opportunities to explicitly teach and model helpful thinking - Ask: What could you do differently next
time? - Help them to focus on consequences: what do you think will happen if you dont finish your project? - Help them to understand that things will usually improve - Help them focus on the positives: This work is so hard but it must be hard for the other kids too.
Adam doesnt like me but it doesnt mean other kids dont like me. No one is liked by everyone. I made a mistake but other kids make mistakes too.
Nobody is perfect. Encourage a growth mindset - A GROWTH MINDSET is based on a belief that intelligence and ability are not fixed traits and that you can work to improve them - Help them to understand that the brain is like a muscle: the harder they
work, the smarter they become Use more process praise than person praise to help them to develop a growth mindset Person praise that promotes a fixed mindset. Process praise that promotes a growth mindset
Great job. You are so clever! Great job. All of your hard work really paid off. Well done for not giving up when you found it difficult. Teach your child that mistakes can help them learn Allow your child to make mistakes and learn from them Talk about the power of YET
I cant do ____yet, but if I work hard and put in effort and persevere, then I am more likely to experience success Point out the things they can now do that they could not do when they were younger. Remind your child that everybody experiences sad times and set backs sometimes. - After a negative experience, it is common for young people to think this type of thing ONLY happens to them
- Help your child understand that setbacks are normal and everyone experiences them. - Help them to understand that setbacks dont reflect badly on them and they can be overcome Help your child to understand that Nobodys perfect Everyone has flaws and limitations It is much more important to Try to DO your best, rather than
try to BE the best Share some of your own imperfections with them Help your child manage strong emotions Remind your child that everyone experiences negative and uncomfortable feelings at times Steps to help your child manage strong emotions 1. Take notice when your child is feeling sad, worried, angry or upset 2. Name their feeling and let them know you understand 3. Help them find a solution to the problem that is making them feel this way. Give them feedback about any positive actions they suggest.
4. Take an optimistic approach that - they will solve the problem successfully - bad feelings wont last Teach your child to hunt the good stuff Help your child to stay optimistic in the belief that things will mostly get better. Encourage them to: Use positive tracking to identify any small good things in a not-so-good situation. Find the funny side of a bad situation. Find things they do to change a bad mood
in to a better mood Help your child to develop courage Courage is facing your fear, not the absence of fear Let your child know that everyone is fearful at times. Share some of your own experiences Help them to understand that different people are frightened of different things Help your child be courageous and face both their everyday fears and
their one-off fears Model and teach social skills Model and teach social skills such as: Being a good listener Having an interesting conversation Playing fairly and being a good winner and loser Being caring and kind and including others
Help your child to cope with friendship issues Stress: Nobody is born knowing how to be a good friend Very few friendships are forever Nobody is liked by everyone they meet Discuss good ways to manage disagreements Create a resilient family environment Have regular sit down meals
together Use the rule of: 5 positives to 1 negative Show affection and support each other Allow and accept differences Dont expect perfection Stress family loyalty Remember the SLEEPER EFFECT You may not immediately see changes in your childs behaviour when you are trying to teach them these important life skills
But there is often a sleeper effect ie: a delayed reaction when they demonstrate the behaviour you were looking for at a later point (and they often dont remember that it was you who taught it to them!) One person who exemplifies so many of the great quailities that we are teaching both in our Bounce Back lessons and in our life lessons at home, is Australian speed skater Stephen Bradbury. Stephen is remembered for his gold medal win in Salt Lake City- but did he deserve the win, was it really a failure that we passed off as a win? Or did Stephen deserve the Gold medal that now hangs around his neck?
Take a look at a small clip from his Last Man Standing documentary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOrIv8sB4vg What qualities did Stephen show that allowed him to become more resilient? Take home message - Parents are the most important teachers of resilience - Strong school-family partnerships where children hear the same messages at school can only enhance their ability to be more resilient, caring and confident so
they thrive in school and in life. Websites Parents guide to online safety (Office of the safety Commissioner) https://www.esafety.gov.au/about-the-office/resource-centre/brochure-parents-guide-t o-online-safety Raising Children Network Site http://raisingchildren.net.au/ Students Wellbeing Hub (Section for Parents) https://www.studentwellbeinghub.edu.au VIA Survey of Character Strengths http://www.viacharacter.org
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